Where I Stand.

In the aftermath of last night’s election, there are a few things I need to clarify.

It should come as no surprise that I supported Barack Obama last night. I am extremely proud of this fact, even more so because I live in the swing state of Ohio. Here, I felt like my vote counted and I made a difference in the course of the election. A lot of you may scoff at that last part, for a variety of reasons. Maybe you don’t support Obama-which is fine. You don’t have to. Maybe you think it is silly that I believe my vote for the President counted way more than it ever has before, and maybe you are right. After all, millions of people voted last night, so what difference does one vote make?

Ohio doesn’t always get a lot of good press or national attention. We have Ohio State, which is a million levels of awesome all by itself. But we have suffering sports teams, a bitter connection to LeBron James, and no hot spot vacation places to visit. However, come election season it is just awesome to see how much of the attention is on my home state. When Ohio was called last night, that was pretty much it-the winner was predicted at that moment and turned out to be right. I love that.

The re-election of Barack Obama as President means a few things to me. One, I feel like it is giving Democrats a fair shake at trying to fix things in this country. You may argue that he had four years (two of which with majorities in the House/Senate) to do so and failed, but I disagree. A lot of legislation (such as the Lily Ledbetter FairPay Act and the end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell) came about in his time, alot of it regarding issues that are near and dear to my heart. Two,  in regards to the economy, it took eight years to create this mess we are in and it will probably take eight years to fix it. We gave Bush a fair shot, and so I see no problem with letting Obama do what he can with the time he has.

Where this election really brought tears of happiness to my eyes is in four particular states (no, not the ones that legalized marijuana, though that is quite interesting news): Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington. In Maine and Maryland, voters made history by passing a law to legalize gay marriage for the first time ever with a popular vote. At the time of this writing, Washington is still counting the votes on a similar law, with pro-gay marriage support growing. In Minnesota, play to add an amendment to the state’s constitution to ban gay marriage forever was struck down.

For the first time in my life, I feel like the battle for marriage equality is finally turning a corner. Yes, there have been states that legalized gay marriage before and that is awesome. However, the popular votes in the states of Maine and Maryland mean something even better: the attitude of people regarding gay marriage is beginning to change. People are beginning to realize that it shouldn’t matter who you love in this life, and that their personal views or religions shouldn’t stand in the way of another person’s happiness.

I am not gay. As far as I know, nobody in my immediate family is, either. But I have friends and co-workers who are, and have crossed paths with countless others who are just normal, loving people who only want one thing: equality. Why shouldn’t I want that for them, too? Why shouldn’t everyone?

I can go to Vegas tomorrow and marry the first hobo I see on the street, and it is legal and valid in the eyes of the law. Kim Kardashian can marry someone for 72 days and get divorced and it is legal and valid in the eyes of the law. A man could marry a woman or a woman could marry a man for a million other reasons besides love and devotion; in a courthouse, church, boat, or on the bridge of the Enterprise. But someone who truly loves another, without any agenda besides wanting to spend the rest of their life with this person, cannot do so because of what gender they happen to be?

A big part of this debate is religion, which I fully understand, though I do not agree. Religion means different things to different people, and some do guide their lives using it. However, religion does not guide everyone the same way. Some people don’t buy into it at all. So why should it define everyone the same, or at all?

Maybe this will come as a shock to friends and family who read this, and maybe it won’t.  I am in the group that does not buy into any religion, past or present. I do not believe there is a God, or a Heaven, or a Hell.  I do not condemn those that have this belief-occasionally I envy it. But I cannot change who I am and make myself believe in something I don’t. Despite all this, I can still get married tomorrow at a courthouse if I choose to do so. If I do, my marriage would be as legal as a very religious friend of mine’s is. There would be no religious aspect, but it would still count. By this evidence, religion does not define a marriage. So why do we let it in the gay marriage debate?

If gay marriage is legalized, a church would not have to perform a same sex marriage if they do not want to. The same law that allows the Boy Scouts to ban gay members protects this right as well-they are a private institution, free to do what they want in terms of membership. The Catholic Church would not allow my father to be married to his new wife under their faith because he had been divorced. It happens, it is legal. No one would force a church to do other wise.

While my right to marry who I choose will never be taken away or restricted, my heart still aches for those that I care about who do not have the same right. Some of them, much better people than I, would make wonderful married couples, and maybe even devoted parents. Why shouldn’t they have this chance? It burns me every night to know there are people out there in this day and age who are still given a second class status, for no other reason than they love someone of the same gender.  For this, I will do whatever I can to make equality happen.  For them, for others, for the future gay son or daughter or niece or nephew I may have one day.

I am proud to live in a country where I can state my views and not be persecuted. I am proud to live in a country where I can get an education and live free, despite my gender. And I one day hope to be proud to live in a country that treats everyone equal: no matter who they love.

Obligatory Chik-Fil-A Note

Well, it is about time to write this note.

I’m sure I don’t need to rehash the Chik-Fil-A debate going on right now, and I am sure people are sick of hearing it. But you know what? That really doesn’t matter to me. It is my view on this issue that I want to share, and since the best way I know how to display my emotions and/or views on things is to write, that is what is going to happen.

I will not be eating at Chik-Fil-A for the foreseeable future. Not only are the owner’s views on gay marriage against my own, but the company also actively donates funds to anti-gay groups that not only oppose the marriage issue, but oppose basic human rights issues when it comes to LGBT people. These are the things that I am protesting when I don’t eat there.

For alot of people, the main issue here is the First Amendment. They say Dan Cathy, the CEO of Chik-Fil-A, has every right to say what he wants to say, and to boycott his restaurants and accuse him of being bigoted for voicing an unpopular opinion is ridiculous and even bigoted on my end as well. However, that is not the point of this debacle. One man (even though he is the CEO) does not represent every person working for Chik-Fil-A and their views. In fact, one owner of a restaurant in New England openly stated that he often serves gay customers, has gay employees, and supports gay rights and gay marriage. He even stated that he has plans to continue to sponsor gay pride events, which is awesome. Both of these guys can express their opinion, however deplorable I find Dan Cathy’s to be, and no one is trying to stop him from doing that.

People also say Boston’s mayor’s actions regarding this issue have been against the First Amendment, saying that he is “banning” Cathy from opening restaurants in Boston due to his gay marriage stance. Yes, Boston’s mayor wrote a letter to Cathy about opening restaurants in Boston, which many people are using as an example for why people are further trying to curb Cathy’s rights. But this letter urged him to reconsider bringing stores there, and did not ban him outright. True, the letter is forceful and seems to indicate that the mayor will do what he can to prevent the store from opening there if they push forward, but it never states that they are banned from opening stores there or that the mayor will use unconstitutional means to do so. He wrote it in defense of his constituents, many of whom are married gay couples. If you don’t believe me, read it:

http://bostonherald.com/news/document.bg?f=misc/Chick-fil-A1&h=Mayor%27s%20letter%20to%20Chick-fil-A&p=&k=bh.

Where the problem lies is the fact that Dan Cathy is using profits from Chik-Fil-A restaurants to support groups like the Family Research Council, who not only are anti-gay, but were labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. In 2010, they donated $2Million to anti-gay groups, all using money they gained from their restaurants. I read quite a few articles this week and saw quotes from people who said that they actively support gay rights and disagree with Cathy’s statements, but were eating at the restaurants in support of his First Amendment rights. However, they ended up shooting themselves in the foot, because their money will now be funnelled into supporting suppressing the rights of the very people they claim to support.

I am in full support of a person’s right to believe in whatever they want and speak however they want, no matter what kind of weight I give to those beliefs and statements. However, I am not in support of a company that donates funds to and supports groups that aim to hurt my friends and family. That i do consider offensive and the main reason that I no longer go there.

Gay rights should not be something that should be debated. They are human rights-the right to love whoever you want, the right to express that love, and the right to have it recognized by our government. If your religion doesn’t believe that these unions count as marriage-fine! Your church doesn;t have to recognize them as such. But your church does not run this country, and your church should not be calling the shots on people’s personal lives, which are no one else’s business but theirs.

So that is my two cents on this. Spin it however you want, comment if you like, just keep it civil.

Much love.

 

California=LOVE

So. Almost two years ago, I wrote a note on Facebook (which some of you read) saying how disappointed I was that a law like Prop 8 (a law that bans gay marriage in California, after a law had been passed saying they could) passed. I was enraged (and still am) that people could be so narrow minded to think that their own personal views could dictate the civil rights of millions of people, and was saddened to think that our country yet again is letting bigoted people ruin the lives of so many loving couples.

But then today I heard the good news: Prop 8 has been overturned in California courts, and will most likely be making its way to the Supreme Court soon as a federal decision. Words cannot express how happy I was to hear this. People think I am nuts sometimes for caring so much about an issue that probably will never affect me personally. I am not gay, and don’t think I ever will be. No one can step in and tell me that I can’t marry someone I love, and nobody can threaten my civil rights based on my sexual orientation.

But I have so many friends and people I care about and love that are affected by this issue. Whether they have been in my life for years, or people that I have just met recently, I want to make the things they worry and care about things that I can worry and care about too. Maybe the law won’t ever affect me, but why should we leave that door of discrimination open?

There is a quote that I often say, and it is one of my favorites. “They came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up.” The quote, said by Martin Niemoller about the failure of German intellectuals to speak up and defend those being carted away by Nazis during ww2, plays well into everything this issue is about. No, it can’t hurt me personally. No, I lose nothing by failing to support it. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not something I should fight for. The more and more we compromise and look the other way in regards to things that hurt the people around us, the more and more it is going to come back and bite us.

If my gay uncle and his partner get married in California, how will that hurt the marriage of two loving straight people? If my friend marries her girlfriend, how will that hurt the values of having children after marriage? How will any of the prejudices and hatred towards gay and lesbian couples come true, if a simple piece of paper declares someone as married?

I’ve seen so many hateful remarks and message boards and from people who are truly bigoted and full of hatred about this issue. Yes, I do support the idea that people have their own opinions on things, and should have the right to express them, even if I don’t agree. But some of the things I have seen have been the most hurtful things I have ever seen in my entire life, which I am not going to repeat here. Those things make me depressed in the state of this country and its people, even after such a great occasional as Prop 8 being overturned. The moral views and codes of someone should not dictate the rights of anybody else, which is what the ban has come down to. All it should come down to is this: Two people love each other, care about each other, and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Beyond that, what matters?

So to sum it all up, I am very excited that Prop 8 has been overturned. 🙂 From here on out, I will do whatever I can to help gay marriage be legalized in the entire United States. I am one person, but I don’t doubt that any help I can give will do some good in the world.